December 4, 2020 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

DEAR AIDAN: Feeling Sexually Incompatible

Dear Aidan:

I met a terrific guy. We hit it off on every level. Emotionally he is open, honest and loving. Mentally he is sharp, witty and very growth minded. Physically he is HOT. But whenever we get in bed… ehhh… The sex just isn’t there for me. I always have to make all of the moves first and I would like him to be more aggressive. During the act of sex, he doesn’t make me feel desired. I want to feel the animal passion!

Dear Hungry Like the Wolf,

I really believe that the bedroom is the one place that you cannot hide! If a young girl is dating an older man to which she has to romantic attraction to in order to claim his estate after he passes, I can guarantee their sex is terrible. Why? Because the connection, the animal instincts and true intimacy that can happen in the bedroom cannot be replicated easily, even by the best of actors.

That being said, there are many who will probably tell you. “Sex is not everything. Look past it and hope it gets better.” Don’t listen to those people. They don’t know what they are talking about either.

The way I look at it, sex is a bonding experience among two partners and sharing this intimate time, pushing the boundaries and really creating a safe space for each partner to share what they are “into” is a key point that separates a romantic relationship from friendships. I really like the idea of role playing, talking dirty or sharing kinky fantasies, etc. because doing so means that each partner is bravely willing to put themselves on the line and risk rejection and embarrassment from “sex gone wrong.” But when it works, the intimacy that can be created between two consenting partners who are willing to share their deepest fantasies will create a bond which will be hard to replicate with just “any other.”

So. WHAT DO YOU DO? People get so squeamish around sex. The more clear and open you can be about the issue, the better it will be for you guys in the long run. Try having a discussion and maybe see what happens if you can both relax… try a weed cookie ( I can’t believe I am recommending this, but maybe this will help take the edge off, which will allow you both to share your feelings and desires more readily.)

Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

If that does not work, THEN I would take a look at yourself before tossing the relationship down the toilet. You had mentioned that you really like aggressive guys! Are you holding standards that MUST BE MET by your partner in order for you to be satisfied? Is there a way for you to meet him where he is and enjoy the experience? Take a look at being more committed to enjoying the experience rather than having to be right about how he is not fulfilling your needs! You might be used to one kind of love-making, but meeting him where he is might ring all kinds of bells!

Want Aidan to give you advice? Submit letters via social media or email [email protected] Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

Related Posts

Laverne Cox Gives Details On Transphobic Attack

December 3, 2020

December 3, 2020

Trans Actress Laverne Cox star of the Netflix series “Orange Is The New Black” took to social media to detail...

Restrictions In WeHo And LA County As COVID Cases Surge

November 29, 2020

November 29, 2020

The City of West Hollywood is getting the word out that Los Angeles County has announced it will be issuing...

The Right Size Condom For You

November 12, 2020

November 12, 2020

Condoms and sex seem to be a taboo subject for discussion. Health class 101 points out the male and female...

WeHo Sounds Virtual Concert Series

November 12, 2020

November 12, 2020

The City of West Hollywood is launching its 2020-21 WeHo Sounds Free Virtual Concert Series, which will take place on...

First Out Gay Immigrant Running For California State Assembly

November 8, 2020

November 8, 2020

Godfrey Santos Plata is the first out gay immigrant ever to run for California State Assembly for Assembly District 53. ...

City Of WeHo Celebrates Veterans Day 2020

November 8, 2020

November 8, 2020

The City of West Hollywood will honor veterans and active members of the United States Armed Forces during a virtual...

The Center Offers Post Election Counseling

November 5, 2020

November 5, 2020

Amidst the stress on an election still yet to be called The LGBTQ Center Long Beach offered free post election...

Long Beach Resident Pays It Forward to LGBTQ Center Long Beach

November 1, 2020

November 1, 2020

Maximilian “Max” Lee, principal attorney for the Law Office of Maximilian Lee and a longtime volunteer for The LGBTQ Center...

WeHo Commemorates Transgender Awareness With Online Events

November 1, 2020

November 1, 2020

The City of West Hollywood and its Transgender Advisory Board recognize November as Transgender Awareness Month with a series of...

WeHo Carnaval 2020 Cancelled

October 29, 2020

October 29, 2020

One of the year’s biggest events in West Hollywood, The Halloween Carnaval, has been cancelled.  The massive Halloween party has...

Undocumented LGBTQ Activist Puts An Emphasis On Voting

October 29, 2020

October 29, 2020

Queer and undocumented filmmaker Armando Ibañez is releasing the videos of 9 undocumented LGTQ+ activists speaking on the importance of...

Family-Owned CBD Brand Remedio Wellness

October 29, 2020

October 29, 2020

Family-owned CBD brand Remedio Wellness launches carefully formulated products harnessing the power of nature and hemp.  Remedio Wellness was founded...

WeHo Launches “Masks Are…” PSA

October 25, 2020

October 25, 2020

The City of West Hollywood has had a mandatory face-covering requirement in effect since late May 2020 and has been...

Gays For Donald Trump March In WeHo

October 25, 2020

October 25, 2020

On Oct. 23 2020 a march, organized by the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay Republicans, rallied to proclaim...

East Hollywood Man Appearing on Wheel Of Fortune

October 22, 2020

October 22, 2020

Tim Quinn, an East Hollywood resident, will be a contestant on the hit TV show Wheel of Fortune on Wednesday,...