January 21, 2022 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

DEAR AIDAN: Feeling Sexually Incompatible

Dear Aidan:

I met a terrific guy. We hit it off on every level. Emotionally he is open, honest and loving. Mentally he is sharp, witty and very growth minded. Physically he is HOT. But whenever we get in bed… ehhh… The sex just isn’t there for me. I always have to make all of the moves first and I would like him to be more aggressive. During the act of sex, he doesn’t make me feel desired. I want to feel the animal passion!

Dear Hungry Like the Wolf,

I really believe that the bedroom is the one place that you cannot hide! If a young girl is dating an older man to which she has to romantic attraction to in order to claim his estate after he passes, I can guarantee their sex is terrible. Why? Because the connection, the animal instincts and true intimacy that can happen in the bedroom cannot be replicated easily, even by the best of actors.

That being said, there are many who will probably tell you. “Sex is not everything. Look past it and hope it gets better.” Don’t listen to those people. They don’t know what they are talking about either.

The way I look at it, sex is a bonding experience among two partners and sharing this intimate time, pushing the boundaries and really creating a safe space for each partner to share what they are “into” is a key point that separates a romantic relationship from friendships. I really like the idea of role playing, talking dirty or sharing kinky fantasies, etc. because doing so means that each partner is bravely willing to put themselves on the line and risk rejection and embarrassment from “sex gone wrong.” But when it works, the intimacy that can be created between two consenting partners who are willing to share their deepest fantasies will create a bond which will be hard to replicate with just “any other.”

So. WHAT DO YOU DO? People get so squeamish around sex. The more clear and open you can be about the issue, the better it will be for you guys in the long run. Try having a discussion and maybe see what happens if you can both relax… try a weed cookie ( I can’t believe I am recommending this, but maybe this will help take the edge off, which will allow you both to share your feelings and desires more readily.)

Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

If that does not work, THEN I would take a look at yourself before tossing the relationship down the toilet. You had mentioned that you really like aggressive guys! Are you holding standards that MUST BE MET by your partner in order for you to be satisfied? Is there a way for you to meet him where he is and enjoy the experience? Take a look at being more committed to enjoying the experience rather than having to be right about how he is not fulfilling your needs! You might be used to one kind of love-making, but meeting him where he is might ring all kinds of bells!

Want Aidan to give you advice? Submit letters via social media or email amy@thepridela.com. Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

Related Posts

New CA Law Helps With Transgender Deadnames

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

A new California law requires public colleges to update diplomas and records for transgender students who have changed their names....

MJ Rodriguez, 1st Openly Transgender Actress to Win Golden Globe

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

Michaela Jae “MJ” Rodriguez has made history by becoming the first openly transgender person to win a Golden Globe.  The...

Animal Shelter Donations In Honor Of Betty White

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

Animal shelter donations have increased exponentially in honor of late actress gay icon and animal lover Betty White. Over the...

AIDS/LifeCycle 2022 Needs More Volunteers

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

AIDS LifeCycle is back with more than $4 million raised so far for the 2022 ride benefitting the HIV/AIDS-related services...

Long Beach Named One of the Best LGBTQ Cities

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

For the 10th year in a row Long Beach has been named one of the best cities in the nation...

Gay Wedding At Dodger Stadium

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

Eric Braverman and Jonathan Cottrell will exchange vows at Dodger Stadium. Showing the progress the LA Dodgers have made as...

LGBTQ Haven in Long Beach

January 18, 2022

January 18, 2022

Long Beach is quickly becoming more and more of a safe haven for LGBTQ individuals with its queer spaces exploding...

Gerrie Schipske Enters Long Beach Mayoral Race

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

Gerrie Schipske announced on Thursday, December 30th that she would run for Mayor of Long Beach this year. The second-term...

Hollywood Star and Gay Icon Betty White Dies Aged 99

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

Hollywood Star and gay icon Betty White died peacefully in her Brentwood home in West LA  on December 31st.  She...

Out Long Beach Mayor Robert Garcia Announces Run for the U.S. House

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

Gay Long Beach Mayor Robert Garcia announced that he would be running for an open seat for the U.S. House. ...

WeHo Urges Residents To Stay Alert Due To Recent Assaults

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

The City of West Hollywood and West Hollywood’s Sheriff’s Station is offering tips to encourage public safety in the community. ...

Fare Collection Will Resume In West Hollywood

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

Fare collection will resume on Metro buses on January 10, following suspension of fares during the COVID-19 pandemic. The City...

WeHo Rings In New Year With Virtual Drug and Alcohol-Free Annual #BOOM! Event

January 6, 2022

January 6, 2022

The City of West Hollywood rung in the New Year with a virtual drug and alcohol-free annual #BOOM! Event.  This...

Attack in WeHo Leaves 5-Year Resident in Hospital

December 16, 2021

December 16, 2021

Matthew McGrath, a five-year resident of West Hollywood, spent two weeks in the hospital and underwent multiple surgeries after he...

WeHo Offers Sandbags To Help Residents With Heavy Rain

December 14, 2021

December 14, 2021

The City of West Hollywood is offering free sand-filled sandbags to West Hollywood residents and businesses as heavy rains fall...