DEAR AIDAN: Date and Dining Etiquette

Dear Aidan,

How does one go about splitting the bill when it comes to dating?

Dear Bill Splitter,

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There are many answers to this, depending on the situation. Here it is:

• If you are the person that invited the person on the date then you should probably pay.

• If you have been invited out on a date let your date take the lead on ordering… it’s rude to order the most expensive champagne from the drink menu because you are expecting the person who invited you out to pay. Feel it out.

• If you have been invited out on a date you should be prepared to pay half. But most of the time the person who invited you will probably pay. 

• If you have been invited on the date but feel uncomfortable with the idea of your date paying the entire bill, then you can offer to split the bill.

• If the date is going well and the person that invited you wants to pay, use that as an opportunity to invite them out to another date at the place of your choice so you can reciprocate the generosity.

• If you have been invited out on a date and then your date expects you to pay the entire bill… don’t talk to them again.

Dear Aidan,

Frequently, when my husband and I eat out, the waiter feels confident that we’re a small table and doesn’t write down our order. Then they get it wrong more often than not. Is there a way I can politely ask the waiter to write our order down (with out getting my food spit on)?

Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

Dear Conflicted Diner,

Yes! Personally I would just ask them to write down the order since I’m a head on type of person when it comes to conflict. If you are comfortable with this sort of approach, I would just say, “Hi! Can you please write this down? Lots of times people get it wrong. I would really appreciate it so much.” But if you are not comfortable with such an approach, I would actually intentionally complicate the order and then make the reason for having to write down the order about your unusually complex specifications rather than the waiter getting it wrong!

Say you are ordering a pizza. Tell the waiter, “Hey… I have an unusually complicated order. I’m so sorry could you write it down for me? I have some food allergies as well and it would be great if you could help me out by writing it out so the kitchen gets it right.” Then add cheese, add onions, no chives, extra olives, sauce on the side, hold the pepper, etc. Make it so complicated that the waiter HAS to write it down. Then tip well! That should go without being said.

“Dear Aidan” is a reoccurring advice column written by Aidan Park. Questions for Aidan can be submitted via social media or at amy@thepridela.com. Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com