December 6, 2019 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

DEAR AIDAN: How to Avoid Ex at L.A. Pride

Dear Aidan,

I am going to a Pride party this weekend! Unfortunately I recently had an ugly breakup last week with a boyfriend with whom I had a toxic relationship with and we run in the same circle. I tried to reach out to him but he refuses to talk to me and I hear he is very angry from mutual friends. I am sure to see him at these parties and I am concerned and he or I will get jealous, activated or upset by seeing each other at these parties. Is there any advice that you give us?

Dear Heartbreaker,

I am so sorry that you are going through a break up. It’s never easy and seeing a guy that you love after you guys have decided to end it, especially if it ended badly. 

The first thing you must realize is that you cannot control what he does. In fact you can’t control what ANYONE DOES. So if someone has ill will toward you, they could do a myriad of things that may upset you. It’s like a dog that craps on the floor. You can’t get mad at it if you are choosing to be around him… and since you are hanging around him there is a chance you will smell crap while you are around him so you have to just accept it and bring the metaphorical pooper scooper to deal with it when it DOES happen!

Since you cannot control the behavior of your ex and it would be a terrible use of energy trying to do that, let’s take charge of our lives in a different way that is more effective instead.

This is what you must do:

  • Accept where you currently ARE
  • Know what you WANT
  • Assess the map to set yourself up for success.
Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

 This is a good lesson for anyone facing a situation they do not like. You must first figure out what YOU want and work around the terrain from where you are. For example, if you want to get to New York from California, complaining about all the mountains in the way and how terrible it would be to hike through the mountains is not going to do ANYTHING…Trying to get the mountains to be flatter by whining about them isn’t going to work. But with the understanding that you are in California, and that there are roads in New York, and car rentals, you can get to New York; it just takes a little bit of planning.

So what do we want? We want a SEXY GOOD TIME, LAUGHS, FUN, FRIENDS, EXCITEMENT, MUSIC. and what is the reality of the situation? You have an ex-boyfriend who is very angry with you who may behave irratically. So, given the “Terrain” and “Where you are” and “where you want to get to”…  What is the easiest way for you to achieve this given the current conditions? Be more dedicated to what you want than anything else, including the need to “Be right” or garnering sympathy for your current situation.

In order for you to have all that you want from Pride… You may have to remove yourself from the group and go with others if it’s too raw for you.  This may mean that you have a mediation session with your ex-boyfriend and create boundaries before the party. You may have to think creatively but there are literally a MILLION WAYS to have a fabulous time at Pride regardless of what your ex says, does or thinks!

I do not know the full terrain of your map so I cannot give you specific directions. But what I CAN say is.. you deserve to have a great time at Pride and that you can take your power back by setting yourself up for success! 

Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

Related Posts

California One of Top States in Equality CA’s Legislative Scorecard

December 5, 2019

December 5, 2019

California earned top marks in Equality California’s recently released annual state legislative scorecard for 2019 Equality California, the nation’s largest statewide...

WeHo Art Exhibit: What is Queer Photography

December 4, 2019

December 4, 2019

Masculine, feminine, non-binary, gender-fluid – all perspectives tell our story. ROUND HOLE SQUARE PEG 4 is a juried photography exhibition...

HEALTH FEATURE: Holistic Rehabilitation with Gyrotonic at Body Rhythm

December 2, 2019

December 2, 2019

Master Trainer Shevi Baruch helping patients with range of injuries  With more fitness programs and classes available than ever, it’s...

GAY LA: The Return of Killjoy’s Kastle

December 1, 2019

December 1, 2019

The WeHo lesbian haunted house is back, this time in book form.  Back in the day, when LGBT+ folks had...

‘Tis the “Season of Love” in Queer Holiday Rom-Com

November 30, 2019

November 30, 2019

Every holiday season traditional and streaming networks create a ton of holiday romantic comedies but they consistently fail to create...

Queer Mall is for All!

November 29, 2019

November 29, 2019

Black Friday is upon us, but it is doubtful that Sears is going to have the perfect gift for your...

WeHo Celebrates Shop Small Saturday

November 26, 2019

November 26, 2019

Portion of proceeds to be donated to Los Angeles LGBT Center Culinary Arts Program. As Thanksgiving slowly starts to recede...

WeHo Mayor D’Amico: ‘Create Your Own Traditions’

November 26, 2019

November 26, 2019

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, time is going to fly by before we know it. But holidays are all...

DEAR AIDAN: Bro Wants to Downplay My Relationship with My Husband?

November 26, 2019

November 26, 2019

Dear Aidan! The Holiday season is coming up and I am going to be going back to my hometown for...

Surviving a Hostile Family Holiday Dinner When You Identify as LGBTQ+

November 26, 2019

November 26, 2019

The upcoming holiday season evokes a wide range of emotional friction for the LGBTQ+ community. The Human Rights Campaign frequently...

Q&A: Thanksgiving at Long Beach LGBTQ Center

November 26, 2019

November 26, 2019

For Long Beachers who celebrate Thanksgiving with their chosen family, the LGBTQ center of Long Beach is thankful for you. ...

TRAVEL COLUMN: LGBTQ+ Family Vacation Takes on Las Vegas

November 24, 2019

November 24, 2019

Along with the regular warm and fuzzy feelings of family and tradition, Thanksgiving evokes the best feeling of all: time...

Big Queer Convo Takes on Tobacco Smoking Plight LGBTQ+ Community Faces

November 22, 2019

November 22, 2019

New findings from #Out4Mental Health Statewide Community Survey and UCLA’s LGBTQ Tobacco Study interviews show how factors including homophobia and...

TRANS HOMELESSNESS in LA: Social injustice, or gender identity bias?

November 20, 2019

November 20, 2019

A personal overview from a trans activist and MSW candidate from USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work. By Christina...

LGBTQ Center of Long Beach to Honor Trans Day of Remembrance

November 19, 2019

November 19, 2019

So far in the United States this year, at least 22 transgender or gender non-conforming people have been violently killed,...