January 24, 2021 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

DEAR AIDAN: How to Avoid Ex at L.A. Pride

Dear Aidan,

I am going to a Pride party this weekend! Unfortunately I recently had an ugly breakup last week with a boyfriend with whom I had a toxic relationship with and we run in the same circle. I tried to reach out to him but he refuses to talk to me and I hear he is very angry from mutual friends. I am sure to see him at these parties and I am concerned and he or I will get jealous, activated or upset by seeing each other at these parties. Is there any advice that you give us?

Dear Heartbreaker,

I am so sorry that you are going through a break up. It’s never easy and seeing a guy that you love after you guys have decided to end it, especially if it ended badly. 

The first thing you must realize is that you cannot control what he does. In fact you can’t control what ANYONE DOES. So if someone has ill will toward you, they could do a myriad of things that may upset you. It’s like a dog that craps on the floor. You can’t get mad at it if you are choosing to be around him… and since you are hanging around him there is a chance you will smell crap while you are around him so you have to just accept it and bring the metaphorical pooper scooper to deal with it when it DOES happen!

Since you cannot control the behavior of your ex and it would be a terrible use of energy trying to do that, let’s take charge of our lives in a different way that is more effective instead.

This is what you must do:

  • Accept where you currently ARE
  • Know what you WANT
  • Assess the map to set yourself up for success.
Follow Aidan on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter @AidanParkShow and check out his upcoming comedy shows on his website AidanPark.com

 This is a good lesson for anyone facing a situation they do not like. You must first figure out what YOU want and work around the terrain from where you are. For example, if you want to get to New York from California, complaining about all the mountains in the way and how terrible it would be to hike through the mountains is not going to do ANYTHING…Trying to get the mountains to be flatter by whining about them isn’t going to work. But with the understanding that you are in California, and that there are roads in New York, and car rentals, you can get to New York; it just takes a little bit of planning.

So what do we want? We want a SEXY GOOD TIME, LAUGHS, FUN, FRIENDS, EXCITEMENT, MUSIC. and what is the reality of the situation? You have an ex-boyfriend who is very angry with you who may behave irratically. So, given the “Terrain” and “Where you are” and “where you want to get to”…  What is the easiest way for you to achieve this given the current conditions? Be more dedicated to what you want than anything else, including the need to “Be right” or garnering sympathy for your current situation.

In order for you to have all that you want from Pride… You may have to remove yourself from the group and go with others if it’s too raw for you.  This may mean that you have a mediation session with your ex-boyfriend and create boundaries before the party. You may have to think creatively but there are literally a MILLION WAYS to have a fabulous time at Pride regardless of what your ex says, does or thinks!

I do not know the full terrain of your map so I cannot give you specific directions. But what I CAN say is.. you deserve to have a great time at Pride and that you can take your power back by setting yourself up for success! 

Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

Related Posts

FBI Investigating Blast At Anti-Gay Church

January 23, 2021

January 23, 2021

An El Monte church that had been threatened this month with an arson attack over its condemnation of same-sex marriages...

Missing Compton Trans-man

January 18, 2021

January 18, 2021

UPDATE: Luckie Alexander Fuller has been found as on Jan. 19th, 2021. Luckie Alexander Fuller, a local Los Angeles transman...

WeHo Will Commemorate MLK Jr. Day With Virtual Donation Drive

January 17, 2021

January 17, 2021

In January 2021, the City of West Hollywood will continue its tradition of joining hundreds of communities across the country...

The Pride Poet’s Corner “Some Super Contextual New Year’s Resolutions” By: Brian Sonia-Wallace

January 17, 2021

January 17, 2021

Some Super Contextual New Year’s Resolutions By: Brian Sonia-Wallace a Don’t wash the dishes. Don’t go for a walk. Wear...

WeHo Renaming The West Hollywood Library

January 14, 2021

January 14, 2021

The City Council of the City of West Hollywood approved an item to submit a request to rename the West...

LA LGBT Center Receives $100K Grant

January 14, 2021

January 14, 2021

The Los Angeles LGBT Center has been awarded a $100,000 grant from the S. Mark Taper Foundation to support the...

Oil Can Harry’s Studio City’s Gay Country Bar Closes

January 9, 2021

January 9, 2021

Oil Can Harry’s, the iconic and beloved gay country western line dancing bar, located in Studio City, is closed for...

LA LGBT Center Administers First COVID-19 Vaccines

January 9, 2021

January 9, 2021

The first of 400 doses received by the Center were dispensed by Dr. Ward Carpenter, co-director of health services at...

2021 WeHo Artist Grant Recipients

January 9, 2021

January 9, 2021

The City of West Hollywood has announced three $5,000 grant awards, totaling $15,000, for three resident artists for its 2021...

WeHo Fighting Climate Change

January 6, 2021

January 6, 2021

The City of West Hollywood is currently updating its Climate Action Plan — an effort called “WeHo Climate Action” —...

The Center Offered Free Meals For Those In Need

January 6, 2021

January 6, 2021

With the unemployment rate in Los Angeles County rising due to the Corona-virus pandemic many are struggling to make ends...

Saving Silver Lake Bar Akbar

January 6, 2021

January 6, 2021

Struggling to survive amid the Corona-virus pandemic, iconic LGBTQI+ hangout Akbar took to a fundraising page to ask for help....

Two New Council Members Sworn-In To The City Council Of WeHo

December 20, 2020

December 20, 2020

The City of West Hollywood has sworn-in two newly elected Councilmembers: Sepi Shyne and John M. Erickson. Each Councilmember took...

Meet WeHo’s New Poet Laureate Brian Sonia-Wallace

December 17, 2020

December 17, 2020

Brian Sonia-Wallace has been named West Hollywood’s 4th City Poet Laureate making him the youngest person to occupy the role. ...

L.A. Makeup Artist Is First Trans Man To Compete On “RuPauls Drag Race”

December 13, 2020

December 13, 2020

The cast of RuPauls Drag Race Season 13 has been announced this week revealing its first trans man contestant will...