January 21, 2020 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

DEAR AIDAN: Feeling Idle in Los Angeles

Dear Aidan,

I know it seems like a stupid simple problem but I just moved to Los Angeles area and I literally cannot STAND the increase of time I spend in the car! I find other drivers to be so rude and I can’t help but get all tense behind the wheel. 

Is there a driving technique or something that I can employ to make driving easier? Or a way I could cut down the driving time?

Dear Driven to Madness!

I feel you! I used to absolutely hate driving! I hated driving so much in fact that I had 8 car accidents in the first 3 years of driving! 8 CAR ACCIDENTS is a lot even for an Asian Driver (Kidding I’m a comic). 

For those readers out there who do not have issues with “Driving” I want you to read this article and place some other area you are discontented with your life because the advice crosses over.

I think whenever we have to do something that we generally do not like to do and we have to adjust to a new environment we all have a tendency to jump straight to the “ELIMINATION OF THE NEW FACTOR THAT’S CAUSING US STRESS”.I see people do this with boyfriends all the time… My girlfriends will be hemming and hawing over the fact that they don’t have a boyfriend for months at a time, then they will get one and once they do, they blame the boyfriend for her insecurities (there are issues to work through every relationship) and so they ELIMINATE that thing that they have been wanting all along.

Follow Aidan on Insta/Facebook/Twitter @Aidanparkshow Check out Aidan’s funny advice podcast @WhatToDoShow and his tour dates and more at aidanpark.com.

So in a scenario like the one you presented, it is good to take a look at what aspects of this is controllable and what is uncontrollable. If you live in Southern California, you are more than likely to be in your car more and that is probably uncontrollable unless you are willing to take the bus (which I would not recommend). The car IS the most effective way to get around in general so getting out of driving altogether is not the answer.

In a situation in which an unpleasant option is unavoidable, the best thing that you can do is to “make the best of it”. But I would actually recommend taking this a step further. Just in the linguistics alone, “making the best of it” implies a dreadful event that must be stomached at best. The thing to do is to try to create a TERRIFIC environment for yourself every opportunity you can get, not to merely settle for “being able to handle it”

As much as I used to hate driving, I really love driving now truly! When i discovered this concept of trying to create a terrific enviroment within an unpleasant situation and not just “geting by”. Of course there are practical things that you can do to feather your nest such as picking good tunes, and putting up photos of loved ones… but I also think it is important that you pick a narrative that helps you every chance that you get. 

Once your start directing your thoughts with purpose to a place of gratitude and appreciation such as “I know this traffic jam is awful but at least I have a car and it is air conditioned. I can just relax in the COOL AIR” before you know it all of the positive aspects that you will have been pointing out will become the truth for you! 

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