A sexy gay novel about Donald Trump and a Hong Kong bellboy from Michigan has gone viral, which is something of a feat of magic given that it’s author, Elijah Daniel, delivered it only four hours after he declared he would on Twitter.
“I’m going to get drunk tonight and write an entire donald trump sex novel like 50 shades of grey & put it on amazon tomorrow i swear to god,” he wrote on Twitter. Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and the Bellboy was born. It is currently No 1 in Amazon.com’s gay erotica chart, No 1 in its humorous erotica chart, and fourth in its Kindle erotica chart.
The ‘book’ is 10 pages and begins with this ditty: “one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012″ says his mid-western boy hero, working as a bellman at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong, “I was stacking someone’s tacky luggage when the door behind me swept open. My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and see the golden god behind these scents, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen.”
Donald Trump’s “ass flapped behind him like a mouth-watering stack of pancakes. And my hunger for pancakes had never been stronger. He stood there in front of me, like a tall stallion. With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest.”
Trump Temptation has received more than 200 reviews on Amazon and has been reported on by media around the planet. “After reading this sensual and tawdry account of Mr Trump’s escapades in Hong Kong, I’m convinced he can make America great again one bellboy at a time,” wrote one reader. “This is the most amazing thing I’ve read in my life. It was a beautiful love story from start to finish and I recommend it to all who enjoy both BDSM and the joys of crazy old men with fake hair,” said another.
The Pride LA is not sure what to make of this turn of literary events. The author is cute. He’s 21. He’s a comedian. Like most young, beautiful people in Los Angeles he has an agent and a show upcoming somewhere. Quest for viral has replaced the nature of good journalism and taste? Nah….it’s just too damned funny.
We loved it and thought you would too. So we contacted Elijah and he gave us a few minutes of time out of his incredibly busy best-selling author’s schedule. Despite being “slammmmmmmmed” he was on:
Who is Elijah Daniel?
A really awful, problematic person.
What were you thinking?
This is the exact question my mom asked. Did she send you?
How did this idea come to you?
Wine is a really bad thing sometimes.
How much of this is based on your life experience?
Only the part where he reached into his pants and it was a lizard tale. Happens every fucking time.
“His ass flapped behind him like a mouth-watering stack of pancakes. And my hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.” seems like something that might have happened to you at IHOP.
Well…
You know you may be onto something…you may have invented an entirely new genre of literature. You may just be a young gay Proust or Emily Dickinson or Ero Guro Nansensu, the Japanese erotic nonsense literary genre or perhaps Asperger’s Realism where your online persona blurs fact and fiction taken largely from your personal life.
This is all true.
Where do you think you fit in?
In the corner of the club on my phone, usually.
Can you imagine a series of these?
God, I hope not.
Might I suggest one in which Trig, Sarah Palin’s son, delivers for Trump? Or perhaps he rescues the Bell boy?
Does Sarah Palin actually have a son named Trig?
Yes.
Oh my god.
Let’s talk about your shows. What are they about?
The first is a docu-series called ‘Elijah Daniel is Insane’. We’re going to take viewers into the world of different absurd things, explore what they mean, and then I’m going to do those things. I can’t say TOO much about it just yet, but within the first few episodes I jump out of an airplane while on psychedelic mushrooms, get a prison tattoo from a prisoner, and eat 400x the recommended dose of marijuana edibles.
The second is called Social. It’s a scripted series that follows two social media stars (myself & everyone’s favorite Viner, Christine Sydelko) who travel from the Midwest to Los Angeles to “make it.”
The two quickly realize the harsh realities of LA, and are forced to join a team of dysfunctional interns at a strange, teen-oriented magazine. It’s a funny look at the absurdity of modern-day social media stars & the desire for fame and recognition.
They’re both a lot of fun.
That sounds awesome! You’re always doing viral stunts. What are you planning next?
A nap.
