Dear Aidan:
I have a hard time losing weight! I do well on my diet for a little while but after a few weeks (sometimes a few days) I fall off the wagon and I go back to the same weight I have always been. Any advice on how I can stay on track to keep my goals?
Dear Can’t Lose Weight,
We have all been there! Trust me. Do not beat yourself up as this is a tale as old as time, and I have been through this same weight struggle myself, TRUST ME. Also, we live in a very beauty focussed town of Los Angeles (where you are not technically considered thin until you look as though you have *survived something*).
Now about the losing weight… Here is the typical dieting pattern of pretty much everyone I know that failed dieters:
1) Aidan decides he’s fat and starts beating himself up for it.
2) Aidan starts a crazy diet
3) Aidan sticks to diet for two days but he’s angry, tired, grumpy, short and his friends/boss/boyfriend/children wonder if he needs medication.
4) Aidan’s says “screw this – its too hard” and eats a carton of ice cream.
5) Aidan either A: Goes back to Sept 1 and repeats the process, or B: Says, “screw it, I’m doomed to be fat for life” and gives up.
Does this sound familiar? Seriously. Everyone does this.
There are all kinds of books out there about what tactic to take and what to do blah blah blah so I am not going to address which diet you should go on for best result. If you want my recommendation I would check out “Shift Weight Mastery with Rita Black,” which helped me lose 14lbs.
The thing that is going to help you most here is adjusting your thought process! There are three parts of you. There is the Awesome You… Then there is the Critic and the Rebel. The Critic is the part of you that tell you that you are not good enough. The Rebel is the part that likes to say, “Ah, scew it YOLO!” The louder your Critic is, the louder your Rebel.
Now Forget everything else! Manage this one thing and you will be able to work yourself down the scale. Your aim is to create environment that will foster a change in lifestyle that you can keep over time. Not to get quick results. In order to do this you must get into the habit of softening your Rebel and Critic…
So, when your Critic acts up with a thought that sounds like: “YOU ARE SO FAT AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAT SO YOU HAVE TO STARVE FOR A WEEK,” it is your job to soften that statement. Saying something more along the lines of, “Huh, pants are not fitting. Maybe tomorrow I will have a lighter dinner because that is something that I can sustain over time.”
When you Rebel acts up and says: “this is TOO HARD I am going to forget it and eat a whole box of cookies,” it is your job to step in and soften that statement by saying something like, “I really want these cookies, but I do want to lose weight too. I will allow myself to have just one cookie and have some more tomorrow. That way I can satisfy this sweet tooth and stay on trajectory to my goal weight.”
Maintaining your psychological balance is the name of the game when it comes to weight loss. This must be given priority, as it is the foundation to any diet you choose. Keto, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Vegan, whatever diet you choose to pursue will only sink if you build on a foundation of mud. So get your head in the game and set yourself up to win. . Leaving your Critic and Rebel in charge will lead to weight gain and/or life of misery.
Think with your Awesome because well, if you’re reading this column, chances are you’re awesome!
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