May 28, 2024 The Newspaper Serving LGBT Los Angeles

Keeping Those New Year’s Resolutions

By Matthew Verdun

The coming of a new year brings hope and optimism for what lies ahead. Most people make some sort of change resolutions in the new year. Sadly, many people also do not keep their resolutions. Whether your resolution is to eat healthier, be a better partner, get in shape, drink/smoke less, or anything else, here are some solution focused tips to help you stay on track.

Do what works for you! There are mountains of articles and advice columns about how to make change, each giving dramatically different advice. There is a reason for this range of advice: no one solution works for all people. A key is to try new ways of change for a few weeks and see how the plan works for you. Keep trying on changes until you find one that fits.

If you fall off the wagon, get back on. Whether you find you stopped eating healthy or found yourself on an app way too much (again), take a step back and start over. Look at the slip as an opportunity to evaluate what didn’t work and how you can change tactics in a new attempt. Each attempt is an experiment to see if it will work or not. If it works, do more of it and evaluate what is working to further enhance the benefits. If the attempt does not work, take a step back and look at what made it not work. Was the whole idea not workable or was there something that happened to make it not work and you can account for that issue and try again?

The solution is not always related to the problem. We often think of solutions in a limited range of options. The solution is usually to stop doing the problematic thing or find a different thing to do (replacement behavior). An example of replacement behaviors are carrots or gum instead of cigarettes. While this is good, it does not necessarily meet the description of solution not being related to the problem. An example of solution not related to the problems is something like: taking the time you would be on your smoke break with coworkers to chat in the breakroom. In this example the smoker wants to have social interaction but also wants to quit smoking, they get the social interaction need met while not smoking.

Small steps lead to big change. There are always stories of people who went “cold turkey” for some sort of change. If that works, I’m glad to hear it. For most people repeated failure leads to demoralization and giving up. If your goal is to improve something in your life, choose small ways to make those improvements every day and celebrate every time you do them. Note: there may be times when going “cold turkey” is necessary, like using drugs or alcohol. If you are concerned about withdrawal from substances you may need assistance with detoxification and should consult a medical doctor.

Celebrate achievements! People often tell me they have difficulty celebrating making progress toward a health goal because they “should” be doing it anyway. If you were doing whatever your goal is, you wouldn’t need to make change. Celebrate the small achievement you have on your way to making lasting change.

Keep these things in mind and you can accomplish your goals. Take small steps each day. When you “fall off the wagon” evaluate the information as to what led to the fall and make a plan to avoid that pitfall. Finally, remember that solutions are not always related to the problem, get creative in how you stick to those resolutions.

The information in this article is for informational purposes only. If you believe you need mental health services please contact your insurance provider, medical doctor, or local mental health agency for referrals.

Matthew Verdun, MFT
CA BBS License Number: LMFT85437
424-254-0900
matthewverdunmft.com

Related Posts

Celebrate National Burger Day with Free Burgers and Special Deals on May 28

May 27, 2024

May 27, 2024

From Arby’s to Wendy’s, Find out Where to Score the Best Burger Deals As National Burger Day approaches on May...

Pultizer Prize Winning Rapper Signs Deal To Purchase Pricey Brentwood Estate

May 27, 2024

May 27, 2024

Deal Would Be One of the Biggest Real Estate Sales in 2024  Pulitzer Prize winning rapper Kendrick Lamar has agreed...

SaMo Pride to Illuminate Santa Monica with June Celebrations for the Whole Family

May 27, 2024

May 27, 2024

Drag Queen Storytime, Musical Performances to Honor LGBTQ+ Community The annual SaMo Pride celebration is set to paint the city...

Measles Case Reported in Traveler at LAX: Health Officials Issue Exposure Warning

May 27, 2024

May 27, 2024

Fourth Infectious Case of Measles in Los Angeles This Year, Third at LAX The Los Angeles County Department of Public...

West Hollywood’s Arts and Culture Industry Generates $12.4 Million in 2022

May 24, 2024

May 24, 2024

Industry Supports 248 Jobs and Contributes $3.4 Million in Tax Revenue The nonprofit arts and culture sector in West Hollywood...

UCLA Police Make First Arrest in Attack on Palestine Solidarity Encampment

May 24, 2024

May 24, 2024

18-year-old Charged With Assault with a Deadly Weapon; Bail Set at $30,000 By Dolores Quintana After three weeks, the University...

UAW Local 4811 Calls for Strike at UCLA and UC Davis Over Unresolved Labor Practices

May 24, 2024

May 24, 2024

UCLA Administration Calls in Riot Police Over Brief Establishment of Second Encampment The Executive Board of UAW Local 4811 called...

Woman Charged After High-Speed Pursuit, Multi-Vehicle Crash on 405 Freeway

May 23, 2024

May 23, 2024

Preliminary hearing set for June 20, Suspect Faces Multiple Charges Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón announced that a...

UCLA Police Chief Reassigned After Assault on Palestine Solidarity Encampment

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

Acting Chief Named as John Thomas Reassigned to Other Duties on Monday By Dolores Quintana In the aftermath of the...

(Video) The Long Awaited Opening of @Something About Her. The line was down the block for most of the day. Huge success

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

If you look closely you can see the owners in the video, who were so very gracious and genuine to...

Off-Duty West Bureau LAPD Officer Arrested for Assault with a Deadly Weapon

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

Officer Taken Into Custody in Westchester, Internal Affairs is Investigating An off-duty Los Angeles police officer was arrested Tuesday for...

UC Workers’ Strike Intensifies Amid Unresolved Labor Disputes

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

University of California Refuses to Attempt to Resolve ULPs The California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB) has urged the University...

LAPD, DEA, and Postal Service to Investigate Actor Matthew Perry’s Death

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

Authorities to Probe How Perry Obtained Ketamine Found in His System. The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has launched an...

Venice Canal Attack Victim’s Condition Takes a Tragic Turn

May 22, 2024

May 22, 2024

CD 11 City Councilmember Traci Park Releases Statement The devastating news that one of the two women who were brutally...